Empathy Exams

Paragraph:

"Empathy isn't just something that happens to us- a meteor shower of synapses firing across the brain- it's also a choice we make: to pay attention, to extend ourselves. It's made of exertion, that dowdier cousin of impulse. Sometimes we care for another because we know we should, or because it's asked for, but this doesn't make our caring hollow. The act of choosing simply means we've committed ourselves to a set of behaviors greater than the sum of our individual inclinations: I will listen to his sadness, even when I'm deep in my own. To say going through the motions - this isn't reduction so much as acknowledgement of effort - the labor, the motions, the dance - of getting inside another person's state of heart or mind" (Jamison, 23). 

This passage, not only standing out as exceptionally well-written (seems almost like flowing poetry), teaches us a lot about empathy. I always felt guilty because when I offered to listen to or help someone, it felt forced. I never felt like I was doing it simply for the act of being a good person. This made me feel very guilty, and I felt that I should genuinely care about helping. Jamison states quite the opposite, that the act itself is empathy. That the act of helping outweighs individual inclination. I especially liked her sentence: "I will listen to his sadness, even when I'm deep in my own." Even if you had second thoughts about helping, and are just listening someone talk about their troubles, you are there and that is all that matters. She emphasizes that being there is very important. When she was going through the process of her abortion, she was alone and nobody was really there for her. I have been at points in my life when I feel like nobodies there (I still feel that way today). However, one can help someone else by being there, even if that person was not there for you, you can help that person. It is confusing yet reassuring lesson on empathy and I learned a lot from this single paragraph.